Day 70

Its good to be home again. Dave brought me home and checked I had everything I needed. I did; my place was transformed, cleaned from top to bottom, fully stocked fridge and horror of horrors: flowers. Now I know I don't own a vase, so I approached this intruder with suspicion until I spotted the doily it sat on: Elsbeth! I decided not to call the police.

Harry seemed glad to see me, something about the way he narrowed his eyes as he looked away. Its funny how we humans like anthropomorphising our animals, when half the time I'm sure they don't give a hoot about us as long as we feed them and don't step on their tails. This is especially true of cats. Dogs however are very different – as a youngster we had a dog called George (named after the king) who was utterly devoted to my father and followed him everywhere he went or slept on his feet by the fire.

I feel fine today and have regained some of my strength. The medication is very good but does make my head feel slightly fuzzy.

Elsbeth visited in the afternoon and gave me a great big hug and a kiss when she saw me. I think I went bright red. It was so good to see her looking so radiant, even though she had a sadness in her eyes I had not seen before.

I am not sad about dying, but I am sad about missing Jojo's wedding, about not having any grand children, about having messed up so much of my life. However I try to focus on the good things. Life is not a bed of roses and if you depart having touched someone's life, that is something. My two girls do me proud.

Elsbeth made me supper and we ate together. I thanked her for the flowers and she kissed me goodnight.

I blushed a little less.